If only I had the nerve!!

Homer J Simpson - the people's philosopher

My favourite cartoon character is Homer Simpson. Homer is an ordinary man who tries to do the best for his family but somehow manages to get things wrong. However, his heart’s in the right place. I can identify with him!

In one episode of the Simpsons, Homer gave Bart some advice in the form of 3 excuses which would help him in tricky situations. I have used these excuses and they usually work.

1 It was like that when I got here.
2 I didn’t do it.
3 You can’t prove anything!

(Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible if they don’t work in your case!)

Am I obsessed with OCD?

I think I am developing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For example, when loading the dishwasher I have to put all the knives together in the cutlery basket; the same goes for spoons, forks etc. Dear help anyone who puts an item of cutlery in the wrong place! I rationalise this by telling myself that this is an efficient way of storing things because they can be lifted out by the handful and easily placed in the drawer. However, my wife insists that I am seriously disturbed.

Recently, I have started to obsess over locking the back door when going out. If someone asks if the door is locked I have to check it even though I am absolutely convinced that I locked it. I get no sympathy from the family. It’s got to the stage that when we are about to go out my wife and daughter look at each other in a conspiratorial manner and one of them says, “Is the back door locked? (giggle)”. AND THEY KNOW I HAVE TO CHECK IT AGAIN!

Am I becoming obsessive?

McFlurries and senior moments.

Recently my wife and I stopped off at McDonalds on the way home for a couple of McFlurries – I know how to show a girl a good time! We drove up to the window to order our usual treats (we’re creatures of habit).

“Two McFlurries, please,” I said to the youth behind the bullet-proof (?) glass, “a Cadbury Flake and a ……”

The neurons in my brain had a sudden power failure. I just couldn’t remember my usual McFlurry!

I turned to my wife and asked her, “What is the one I usually have? You know, the one with the crunchy bits in it.”

She gave me the look only married men will appreciate and said, “You mean a ...... CRUNCHIE.”