Well done Northern Ireland Railways

I had to travel into town without my car this morning so I thought I would accompany my daughter. She drives to the railway station, parks her car and commutes to Belfast by train.

Now, I haven't been on a local train for some time so I was pleasantly surprised at the comfortable, road-rage-free trip. The carriages were modern, clean and warm. I would travel this way in future if my work was convenient to a station. My only gripe - there's always one! - is that the recorded announcements were made by an English lady. What's wrong with having a Norn Iron voice?

The worst part of the trip was the five-minute drive to the station. It brought back my traumatic experiences of teaching Miss Pluto to drive!

I want one of those

There is a trend nowadays for electronic devices to have a number of functions. For example, my mobile phone has a camera, mp3 player, voice recorder, light, calendar, notepad, internet connection, calculator and plays games. Oh yes, it lets me make phone calls as well. My iPod lets me do more than just play music. So, I was interested to read that you can now get a taser holster with an integrated media player! I couldn’t help wondering what this was for – the media player, not the taser. Is it to play soothing music while the victim comes round? Or maybe it lets the police catch up on the latest episode of The Bill while they wait for the criminal to be coherent enough to give a statement.

I have already checked with the Department of Education for Northern Ireland and, unfortunately, I am not allowed to use any sort of taser in the classroom

Spot the Teacher

I started back to school last week after a fortnight off for Christmas. (Note to non-teachers: I’m not even going to try to justify teachers’ holidays – get over it and move on!) I realised when I started last Monday that I was out on a course on Wednesday. Happy days! I’d forgotten all about it.

The course was held in W5 which is an interactive discovery centre, much visited by school trips. During our seminar some primary school kids on one of the aforementioned trips walked past our room, rapped the window and waved in. They were just being friendly, but the teacher in me wanted to go out and remonstrate with them. Some other teachers on the course later said they felt like doing the same. I have been teaching so long that I think I am institutionalised and I find I act out my role in the real world. My daughter often remarks, “Dad, stop being a teacher.”

I was in town with my daughter and spoke briefly to a friend. My daughter asked if he was a teacher and when I asked her how she knew she said, “You can spot teachers a mile away”

Can anyone tell me what it is that identifies a teacher? Mind you, I have noticed if I am out for a meal with friends that it’s always a teacher who takes charge of the menu and divides out the bill.

Tired dog

Someone sent me this story by email and I thought I would share it with dog lovers:

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"