Wanted: a good read

Recently we were at our local health centre to get our vaccinations for our forthcoming trip abroad and I was struck by the lack of suitable reading material; material for men, that is. There was OK, Hello, Bride Monthly and so on, but nothing for men. I would even have perused Ulster Tattler to see how many people I knew in the photographs. It’s the same in dentists’ waiting rooms and hospitals. Is there some NHS directive which states that only women’s magazines should be provided?

Anyhow, I read all the posters on the walls and now I am an expert in head lice, symptoms of meningitis, the need for oral hygiene and breast-feeding, although I don’t think the last one will ever be useful! My threshold of boredom is very low and I had to do something to prevent meltdown. There was nothing else for it: I started to talk to my wife.

Would you like cheese with your w(h)ine?

We are a nation of whingers. (This is my blog so I am allowed to whinge.) What is the main topic of complaint? Global warming, worldwide poverty, famine in Africa? No, the weather!

We have had over a week of hot, sunny, rainless days which is very unusual in Northern Ireland where the only difference between summer and winter is that the rain is warmer in summer! People have been complaining about the heat. All that can be heard is, “Heat’s wild” (Translation: It is uncomfortably warm.) This is usually followed by, “I’m leakin’ big draps.” (Translation: I am perspiring profusely.)

We are not used to the heat. My pupils are still wearing their sweaters and then wonder why they are hot and tired.

Well, today it is cloudy and the rain has returned. No doubt the change in the weather will now be a cause for complaint.