I was taking a Religious Education class and we were discussing what happened at Easter. I asked the class what word described Jesus coming back to life; I wanted them to use "resurrection". There was total silence along with much scratching of heads, looking to the ceiling and face contortions, all to impress me that brains were in gear.
"It starts with R," I said, helpfully.
One hand shot up immediately and a boy answered, "The Easter Rising!"
(You need to know something about Irish history to get that one)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Not guilty
The school fire alarm went off again today! The pupils and staff assembled in the playground as normal and I got a lot of friendly abuse for setting it off again. (Read what happened last time) However, this time I was not the culprit; another teacher had knocked against the sensor.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Smoke gets in your eyes (again)
We (ie, myself and some other male members of staff) had a BBQ at lunchtime today. There's nothing wrong with that, you may think. However, it's a bit early in the year for BBQs and in Ireland we can usually only have them on about 3 days a year. Also it was raining. But the thing that makes this one different is that we had it in the conservatory, sorry greenhouse! I did check that there were no smoke detectors nearby (see my previous post)
The thing that worries me is, not the reaction that will come from the jealous female members of staff, but the reaction that comes from eating undercooked pork sausages! We only have three quarters of an hour for lunch and we had to rush some things.
The thing that worries me is, not the reaction that will come from the jealous female members of staff, but the reaction that comes from eating undercooked pork sausages! We only have three quarters of an hour for lunch and we had to rush some things.
Amen!
I take morning assembly in school once a week. I quite enjoy it even though at times it's a bit like performing in a tough working men's club in the North of England.
Many of our pupils have Asberger's syndrome so you're never sure what they will say or do. For example, at the end of assembly one pupil stood up and made the announcement: "I would just like to say that there are going to be gales tonight so everybody better get ready." Thanks for the weather forecast! Then there was the time that the Principal had lost the place in her notes and was a bit hesitant about what was coming next. One boy shouted out: "Oh, get on with it!" Kids! You can't beat them (pity!)
It is customary to finish the assembly off with the whole school saying The Lord's Prayer. I got through everything without too much static from the kids and was well into the prayer. I expect trouble from the kids but not the staff. In the middle of the prayer a teacher's mobile phone went off. It had one of those ringtones that seems like a great idea to have on your mobile until it begins to play in an inappropriate place, eg a funeral service, church ........ morning assembly. He got away with it (unlike my faux pas with the fire alarm) because the Principal thought it was a pupil's phone that was ringing.
I don't mean to be irreverent but I can recite The Lord's Prayer backwards in my sleep. However, I have been put off by the pupils a few times and it's very hard to get back on track; it's a bit like trying to count while someone shouts out random numbers. (Try it and see how difficult it is) Because of past experiences I have the Prayer on a card in my Bible for emergencies and boy was I glad of it that day!
Click here if you want to here the offending ringtone.
Many of our pupils have Asberger's syndrome so you're never sure what they will say or do. For example, at the end of assembly one pupil stood up and made the announcement: "I would just like to say that there are going to be gales tonight so everybody better get ready." Thanks for the weather forecast! Then there was the time that the Principal had lost the place in her notes and was a bit hesitant about what was coming next. One boy shouted out: "Oh, get on with it!" Kids! You can't beat them (pity!)
It is customary to finish the assembly off with the whole school saying The Lord's Prayer. I got through everything without too much static from the kids and was well into the prayer. I expect trouble from the kids but not the staff. In the middle of the prayer a teacher's mobile phone went off. It had one of those ringtones that seems like a great idea to have on your mobile until it begins to play in an inappropriate place, eg a funeral service, church ........ morning assembly. He got away with it (unlike my faux pas with the fire alarm) because the Principal thought it was a pupil's phone that was ringing.
I don't mean to be irreverent but I can recite The Lord's Prayer backwards in my sleep. However, I have been put off by the pupils a few times and it's very hard to get back on track; it's a bit like trying to count while someone shouts out random numbers. (Try it and see how difficult it is) Because of past experiences I have the Prayer on a card in my Bible for emergencies and boy was I glad of it that day!
Click here if you want to here the offending ringtone.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Smoke gets in your eyes
I was doing a simple experiment with the kids yesterday and, as part of it, I demonstrated what happens when magnesium burns. Normally this demonstration is accompanied by a chorus of "Ooh!" "Aah" "Cor, do it again, sir!" This time, however, there was the additional sound of the fire alarm! The smoke detectors in the new school seem to be more sensitive than the ones in the old school.
As a result, the entire school (including the principal who had just left my room with some visitors she was showing around at the time) evacuated to the playground. I was a bit shame-faced as you can imagine but I thought that if I said nothing then I might just get away with it. Not so. Every class has a blabber mouth and before long it was around the whole school that I was the culprit. OK, so it was a bit chilly, but there was no need for the staff to take it so personally and issue me with more death threats than Salman Rushdie.
As a result, the entire school (including the principal who had just left my room with some visitors she was showing around at the time) evacuated to the playground. I was a bit shame-faced as you can imagine but I thought that if I said nothing then I might just get away with it. Not so. Every class has a blabber mouth and before long it was around the whole school that I was the culprit. OK, so it was a bit chilly, but there was no need for the staff to take it so personally and issue me with more death threats than Salman Rushdie.
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