Friday, April 11, 2008


I take morning assembly in school once a week. I quite enjoy it even though at times it's a bit like performing in a tough working men's club in the North of England.

Many of our pupils have Asberger's syndrome so you're never sure what they will say or do. For example, at the end of assembly one pupil stood up and made the announcement: "I would just like to say that there are going to be gales tonight so everybody better get ready." Thanks for the weather forecast! Then there was the time that the Principal had lost the place in her notes and was a bit hesitant about what was coming next. One boy shouted out: "Oh, get on with it!" Kids! You can't beat them (pity!)

It is customary to finish the assembly off with the whole school saying The Lord's Prayer. I got through everything without too much static from the kids and was well into the prayer. I expect trouble from the kids but not the staff. In the middle of the prayer a teacher's mobile phone went off. It had one of those ringtones that seems like a great idea to have on your mobile until it begins to play in an inappropriate place, eg a funeral service, church ........ morning assembly. He got away with it (unlike my faux pas with the fire alarm) because the Principal thought it was a pupil's phone that was ringing.

I don't mean to be irreverent but I can recite The Lord's Prayer backwards in my sleep. However, I have been put off by the pupils a few times and it's very hard to get back on track; it's a bit like trying to count while someone shouts out random numbers. (Try it and see how difficult it is) Because of past experiences I have the Prayer on a card in my Bible for emergencies and boy was I glad of it that day!

Click here if you want to here the offending ringtone.

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